Versora WIP [redited Personality and biogragphy]

Have you see the OVA or read the manga series of Hellsing? Yes If so how far have you gotten? Vol. 10 of the OVA. Vol. 2 of the Manga If not please direct your attention to YouTube, and watch OVA 1-4 at least. Warning: If you have watched the anime we require you watch the OVA, or read the manga. The anime is not canon. This is not our opinion. This is the law set down by the creator of Hellsing, Kouta Hirano.

Name: Versora
Age: 23
Gender: Hermaphite, female for the most part

Physical appearance: Height: 5’ 3” 5’ 6” with her boots on
· Weight: 145 [roughly]

· Hair: Calf-length blood red hair that is worn in an intricate braid

· Eyes: large almond-shaped silver eyes, her eyes are very expressive. You can practically tell what she is thinking. Her eyes match her words with expressive emotions.

· Body Type: her build is athletic due to the training she took since she was a child

· Physical Appearance: her skin is pale as she resembles a Vampire, she could give a super model a run for their money, her attire is clean and has not a stain on it, and somehow it manages to stay that way even when she is in combat. The other scars that are not seen are two identical three inch scars on each side of her shoulders and the roman numeral XII with a elaborate cross in front, thtat runs across the small of her back


Clothing of choice:
Her outfit is the color of pure white, the collar of her shirt has a high, wide wing tip stlye with a small V neck line thtat would and does drive most Vampires crazy, the back of her floor-length cut away trench coat bears a silver cross, the sripes on the back of the sleeves make up the arms of the cross if she were to spread her arms out, her shirt sleeves jutt out and fold over the coat sleeves, and are held together by cross-shaped cuff links. She wears a wide leather belt and an ancient-looking rosary clipped to it to keep it in place, her jeans' fit look like the were made just for her, the knee-high boots added to her classy look, around her neck she wears a beautiful deep violet amulet.

Weaponry of choice: 7 ft. siler staff with a Celtic cross on the top

Race: Human

Abilities: Bataireacht- Irish Stick Fighting

Organization: Hellsing [former Iscariot--if possible]

Personality: Versora is usually kind and reserved. She likes to keep to herself though she will converse with those that wish to talk to her. When she is around children she is very protective of them, and will go out of her way to make sure they are alright. She is also easy to anger, though she can quell her temper just as quickly. She tends to treat others with kindness as if they were her own family. She isn't however a mother hen, though she will take to scolding people, regardless of their rank, if they have done something wrong.

Rank: middle class

Biography: Versora was born on a nice little farm in Ireland. She lived happily with her parents, sometimes making mischief as children tend to do when they are young. One a nice summer day when she had turned five years old Versora's parents were killed on their way home from grocery shopping in the nearby village, the news reached the babysitter, who was caring for her at the time. None of the other family members wanted, nor could they provide care for her.

She was then sent to an orphanage owned by the church. She was well cared for and was raised by loving preists and priestesses and fellow children who were tasked with assissant care giving. At a young age she stumbles upon one of the warrior priests practing martial arts. To her it looked like a funny dance with sticks. She started to follow the priest around like aduckling would followits mother. One day she asked if she could learn the funny danceing style as she loved to dance. The priest felt obligated to teach her when she asked if she could learn the funny style of dancing.

The priest took her to the training grounds where he learned his style of fighting. She then learned that the priest was part of a secret order of warriors called The Order of the Holy Fist. After running her through a simplified physical test for children she was inducted into the order. It was there that her raising was continued by her tutors, as well as her brothers and sisters in arms.
When her training was complete she was then turned loose, and was free to forge her own path where ever it may lead.


RP sample: Versora sat in her favorite spot, it was quiet and peacful for the most part, and the chaise lounge she sat in was comfy enough to nap on. She is reading a book but is slowly starting to drift to sleep, eventually the Sand Man won, and is now dozing peacfully. The book laying across her chest. A huge long haired white cat is purring away on her lap.

Versora looks around at her surroundings, quickly taking in the scenery and prepares for a battle. A lone opponent before her. She readies her staff and goes into a defensive stance. The attacker takes no time in brandishing his weapon as they charge forward. Whe the foe gets closer she side steps and swings with her staff. The foe is caught off gaurd, but recovers. The he makes his move. Versora blocks, but barley, and she staggers slightly. She recovers and counterattacks by droping low and sweeps her legs out to trip her opponent. The foe losses their footing and falls to the ground as Verosra swiftly rises up to try and end the fight.

First off you ignored our rules, race selections, and our template that we have set up for all members of this forum. This is the first upsetting thing about this sheet. We have links set up on the big board for a reason. The board is not there to make the forum look fancy, but to help new members with their way through the forum faster. We have rules that specifically say we do not allow mary sues on this forum. We also have a section dedicated to races that were canon to the Hellsing world with powers listed, and a killing system for the lycans and vampires. No where in this list of races is Dhampir's, and Elves allowed. This staff has designed a template of the items that are necessary, and prefer things in paragraphs not lists with the exception of guns and ammo. You also created your own group with the order of the fists. There is no such group on this forum nor did you apply for said order. The groups available are down at the bottom near the chatbox.

Now let us review the character you presented to us in your own fashion. First of all the Roman Catholic Church does not assign the title of Priestess to any woman, and there is no such title in the Catholic Church. Heinkel, while the gender is assumed female, is called a priest. She is the only exception in the Vatican it seems. I know this because I went to a private Catholic school for 10 years with religious classes. Your appearance is a bit mary sue as well. From the description of the eyes to the part where your hair is in a Elven braid. You could have simply said that she's very expressive with her face, and she likes to braid her hair a certain way. The silver weaponry for you is also impractical given the fact that she's a Dhampir. While Dhampir's do have a better tolerance to silver prolonged exposure can do damage. Much like the sun. This next part cirles back to the rules section. We do not allow magic. This is a realistic world setting with real world events involved like WWII.

The final comment is the most important to me. You seem to lack common knowledge of the Hellsing canon. It is widely known throughout the Hellsing community that Integra is a only child, and the last of the Hellsing bloodline. There is no if's, and's, or but's about this fact. We do not take such liberties on this forum, and I highly doubt any respectable forum would either. So that part in itself makes everything involving this aspect of your character null, and void. Not to mention you claim that Dracula was involved in her life. If you had followed the OVA's, or manga's you would know that Dracula is Alucard, and prior to Integra waking him up he was locked in the dungeons with alchemy. You also insult Arthur Hellsing. Arthur Hellsing was a drunk and a womanizer while he was younger, but as far as when he was older he was far from being a man so uncaring. It makes me wonder if you have actually read the manga or seen the OVA's because Integra's uncle was the one trying to kill Integra.

If you are willing to take out this entire part of your OC, and form a new character with what's left by all means you are more than welcomed. However, I do have to insist you read our rules, race information, and go by our character template.

I understand. I will change it immediately. Sorry to offend.

I'll say it again real quick. We do not allow magic.

Fixed my abilities

Is that staff your only weapon?

I would suggest expanding abilities. does she pal any instruments? speak any languages? any unique talents? also when you say martial arts there are plenty of of different schools for that. Is she a jack of all trades but a master of none, or is she a master in a very select few.

personality could be flushed out more. Go into more depth with that.

Also we require both social and battle post for the RP sample. that is so we can gauge how you RP and your character's abilities.

Yes, the staff is her only weapon. She refuses to weild any blades or guns. With a staff she has the choice to kill. With a gun or blade she has no choice but to kill. And I fleshed out her personality more. Would anyone like to help volunteer for my social post sample?

Personality: reserved, but kind. Strict when she has to be. Easy to anger as she is Irish. She also tends to treat her fellow inhabitants as if they were her family.

Hobbies: Growing Irish roses, horseback riding, and reading books. Dislikes: liver, the color chartruse, flip flops, and all things evil. Likes: Puppies, kittens, rainbows, unicorns, and muppets.

Sweetie.... This isn't Twilight. Just the personality alone tells me that you need to take more time with this sheet... quite a bit more time. Take a look at some of our Cannon's personality samples (except Alucard), and even some of our OC's personalities. Your personality description tells us NOTHING except, "my name is Elizabeth Swan. And Imma be a vampire in the last shitty book in the shittiest series ever written and known to vampire follower literature and cinematography." Bella is a block. This tells me that your OC's personality is a block.

I'd lecture, buuuut I've lectured enough about personalities to the point that my fingers are callused over and it should just compute that you cannot work with a personality like that as a player, and, for other players to completely understand what it is your OC is about exactly.

Trust me, the last thing I want is a Twilight OC. Yuck. I will try again with the personality.
Thanks for the lecture. I know I must be a pain by now. I am sorry about that. But I do appreciate the critisim. It is helping alot.

This hasn't been touched in over a month, so I'm assuming you're through with this. If you come back, I can pull it out for you.