Jan FUCKIN' Valentine, Vampire Pimp Extraordinnaire (DONE)

Have you see the OVA or read the manga series of Hellsing?  If so how far have you gotten?  If not please direct your attention to YouTube, and watch OVA 1-4 at least.  Warning: If you have watched the anime we require you watch the OVA, or read the manga.  The anime is not canon.  This is not our opinion.  This is the law set down by the creator of Hellsing, Kouta Hirano. Yes, yes, yes and FUCKIN' YES.

Name: Jan Valentine, that shit's simple to remember.

Age: Uh... I lost count between 25 and potato? Shiiiiit I am too high to remember right now. (Yes, he is 25.)

Gender: I got a penis, a long ass penis. That help paint an image? (Male obviously)

Physical appearance: I am a MOTHERFUCKIN' Bona Fida well built hump machine, bitches take a number and form a queue.

Officially, Jan is about 6'2" feet tall, which is in height. His girth as he proclaims is Equestrian. The validity to the previous statement holds credence to the fact he has left numerous alleged women rather satisfied, or so he explains, considering the fat bulge he has in his pants. He has golden eyes, Hawkish in spite of the veneer sneer he often contemptuously holds.

His hair is black, and unseen below the cap, rather messy. His face actually similar to look, but in spite of that, he has brownish skin which implies he may have Afro-Caucasian roots. His fingers meanwhile are spidery, and invasive to the touch. His face is riddled with piercing, as he has many many more piercing elsewhere best left unmentioned, hidden beneath his veil of clothing.

Also note the fact he has a shit eating smug on his face constantly, with smile lines on his face thanks to the fact he is often displaying his pleasant mood.

Clothing of choice: Uh... I thought I explained this before. JAN WEARS BLUE ZIP UP TRACK SUIT, some bling of gold underneath, a pair of white gloves (dunno why, suppose Luke forced it on him. He can be a tight ass prick like that sometimes, he likes to get down and dirty), some classy ass black loafers, some socks. Throw in a leopard thong, piercings if they count and clothing and uh... well sometimes he wears a hoodie, black, and has a cigarello (coincidentally the same brand Integra F. Hellsing smokes that he somehow found a new craving for) on his mouth.

He is the shame of his brother, in many ways imaginable, but the one modicum of pride and rather sameness he holds that even relates to Luke would be the fact he is of similar build, wears similar clothing, AND has the same gloves on. Although his clothing is dark naval blue in contrast to Luke Valentine's whites.

On his skull, is worn a cap with an eye of gold. It may perhaps denote some deep occultist connections, or maybe Jan has it because it's FUCKING AWESOME. Who knows? Questionably the eye is slanted higher upwards, which may deride to the fact it's also an implication Jan is into Rastafarian culture, or he just likes being FUCKIN' HIGH as he puts it.

SOMETIMES, Jan likes a little thing called foreplay roleplay. So what he does, is wear a wide brimmed wizard's hat, and a set of wizard's robe for a sense of gratification. Still keeps his guns on him though. He has to be loaded, four times (three of which being his guns).

Weaponry of choice: Check this shit out.

Spoiler:

(Specifications courtesy of Hellsing wikia)

The real-life P90, a personal defense fire-weapon (PDW) manufactured by FN Herstall in Belgium, was developed somewhere between 1986 and 1991. It features several innovations such as a top-mounted magazine and ambidextrous controls, notably taken advantage of by Jan Valentine when he wielded two of them in each hand at once. It is also notable that the ejection port for shells is located on the underside of the gun. Jan's modified version seems to have a suppressor as well, but neither the sound of the gunfire nor the amount of damage seems to be suppressed, as it sounds similar to a standard assault rifle when fired and tears through the Hellsing soldiers. However, it must be considered that Jan emptied a considerable amount of bullets into them. Also unseen in the picture is a long scope that he attached, that in spite of attaching it, doesn't seem to use, as well as a red dot sight on the other heavily modified P90.
Weight:
2.54 kg (5.6 lb) empty
2.68 kg (5.9 lb) with empty magazine
3.0 kg (6.6 lb) with fully-loaded magazine
Length:
The P90 measures 500 mm (19.7 in, or a little more than 2½ ft) total, but the exact length of Jan's modified version is unknown.
Barrel length (standard version): 263 mm (10.4 in)
Width: 55 mm (2.2 in)
Height: 210 mm (8.3 in)
Ammunition:
The P90 uses bottlenecked 5.7x28mm cartridges, weighing half as much as typical 9x19mm cartridges and allowing extra ammunition to be carried more easily. It cartridge was created by FN in response to NATO requests for a replacement for the 9x19mm Parabellum cartridge. It also exhibits a flatter trajectory. The cartridge can also pierce through Kevlar protective vests, usually at a range of 200 m (655 ft).

The P90 uses a 50-round detachable box magazine and can fire 900 rounds per minute. It has an effective range of 200 m (655 ft), and a maximum range of 1.8 km (5,905 ft).

Also check THIS cake out. Jan liked it, so he bought it. And by bought it, he just killed that douche who owned it, Collector's item, and THEN gave him a thorough snu snu through his skull. Man... GOOD TIMES.

Oh right, the gun. It's the Ithaca Auto & Burglar, Jan keeps it on wedged on his backside, concealed there in the folds of his cheeks. Here are the specs and picture. Copy pasta.

Spoiler:

(1922-1934)
Type: Shotgun
Caliber: 20 gauge
Capacity: 2 Shells
Fire Modes: Single shot (Break Action)
Two variations of the Home & Burglar exist; the "Model A" which featured a 10" barrel set and could only chamber 2-1/2" shells, and the "Model B" which featured a 12" barrel set and could chamber 2-3/4" shells. The Model B can be distinguished by the lack of a spur on the grip.

Jan USUALLY carries about like 10 magazines on him (not the reading magazines, more like the bullet shoot you in the face kind), and some 16 shotgun shells, all in his pocket, alongside his mint and some other miscellaneous items.

Race: Category D(ick) Vampire.

Abilities: Regeneration may take a long amount of time for major damage (ie: 10 posts), sublime supernatural strength, agility, stamina, durability, and reflexes, big weakness to silver and blessed weaponry but survivable, killable through conventional means, ability to turn virgins into ghouls, non-virgins into somewhat weak ghouls, the need to drink blood occasionally, susceptible to unblessed damage (still fatal to them), meagre weakness to sunlight (as in they get sick around it).

Also Jan has a SUPER DUPER SPECIAL POWERS that makes him a VERY UNIQUE MEMBER of Millennium. That is the fact he has a VERY HIGH if not imperviousness to pain, as he is capable of withstanding pain that others would find intolerable. In fact, he does not seem fazed by such a prospect at all, and can ignore it, like a berserker, except coherent-ish, if that term can EVER be used to describe Jan. He is a masochist like that.

ALSO, in the years that took place, under the INSISTENCE of his superiors... he HAD to train in them German army shit of the olden days instead of fucking them bitches. It was a HUGE PAIN IN THE FUCKING ASSHOLE. He could've spent that time enjoying himself, but NO, he HAD to be drilled apparently to be upgraded from "disposable agent" to someone more reliable... RIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHHT. From what Jan heard, he was ALMOST sent on a suicidal assault to the Hellsing manor at a point where the likelihood of him being killed was high, but the mission was aborted in place of some other shit that had to do with him being better equipped.

OH YEAH, has a bitchin' ability to actually invoke the Konami code, and if it's any consolation, can actually shoot BOTH P90's, aiming them REALLY ACCURATELY with VERY ADVANCED spatial awareness and clarity expected of a supernatural, capable of aiming both of them distinctively and shooting accurately all at once. But SHIIIIT, that ain't him, he likes going gangsta style and unloading the clip on them bitches. He is good at killing people like that. If you want someone dead, overkill, WHATEVER. Give Jan a bazooka or some explosives, and he'll level the SHIT out of the enemies.

Organization: Millennium.

Personality: Hoo boy, where to begin? JAN JAN JAN. This guy, is all about style. Ain't no juvenile shit like SWAG. But he does prescribe to YOLO. As a result, he fears no evil, no good, no holiness, actually he fears NOTHING at all, and fits JUST RIGHT IN with Millennium's most fanatical Storm troopers. YERP. Jan motherfuckin' Valentine is baws like that. He is bombastic, and he ain't afraid to sound it off. But shiit, he knows how to make theatrics to the extreme, unlike his more BORING brother Luke, who thinks that EVERYTHING requires subtlety, precision and all that complicated shit.

Honestly Jan gives no two rat's ass, or vagina, about the conformity of society's views on vulgarity, obnoxiousness and OTHER polite gestures. NAH. He is chilled like that. But he AIN'T a hipster. He just doesn't follow the rules like that.

Although, despite what outward appearance he gives off, deep down inside Jan has an inferiority complex stemming from the fact that LUKE, that pale ass cracker, is considered the favorite child of his parents, performed well in his studies, risen in life, enjoyed a LOT of luxuries that he did not, that MAYBE just MAYBE a LITTLE speck, granted a TINY microscopic littlest of TINIEST atom of jealousy exists in Jan that MAYBE he should've been like Luke. But then Jan realizes, NAH. He can use his intellect towards other things, like shooting shit.

Surprisingly, Jan is well aware of political atmosphere of England, the following countries of Europe, well versed in economics (yeah, he is a gang lord of a criminal empire, what do you shits expect?) and is in fact the more practical of the two brothers. Luke say... if THEORETICALLY if he went against an ass raping machine that basically has a continuous killing streak of vampires with a PERFECT record, he'd think he can actually beat him without much regard to tactics, measuring the opponent or ANY of that. Whereas Jan? SHIIIIT, he actually comes prepared, and EVEN ASKS QUESTIONS about reliability! Yeah, ladies, he is single too... with fiftysome and a score. Take a number. He is cunning and sharp like that. Heck, Jan is even versed in pop culture too.

ANYWAYS, so yeah, Jan is cheerfully sociopathic, enjoys life to the fullest, doesn't regret ANYTHING, and would rather go out with a bang, laughing in the face of danger as he gets a hard on in violence. It's his past time like that. Likes to do drugs, Jan is a pretty cool guy. Kicks Hellsing ass and doesn't afraid of anything.

Rank: Warrant Officer.

Biography: So there was a time where Jan ain't that big bitch fucker he was, and BOY was he a bitch fucker back in his time, and STILL IS. Nay, for in the times past, Jan was but a simple boy struggling under the shadow of Luke Valentine, his bro. His pa and ma loved him VERY much, yeah, talk about parental favoritism, whereas Jan himself? He was the neglected little brat that was seen as the unwanted child of a shameful union, the bastard child. So yeah, Luke was mentored and given a SHITLOAD of attention, all that schtick that comes with being the fondled one, whereas Jan? He is left to rot in public school, the most GHETTO of GHETTOS, so yeah, he couldn't make the grade because SHIIIT, held for several grades till he just ditched the institution altogether, he had to focus on MORE IMPORTANT STUFF like being in a gang, and showing up his colors in Detroit. He had to CLAMOUR for attention by being bombastic, whereas also practical, if not flamboyant in his acting. Schooling was all basic anyways, and his childhood involved a LOT of fights. He ended up in the ass kicking receiving end, a LOT. So he learnt to tolerate pain that way, mostly fights started by him, picking up dirty vulgarity from older blokes from pubs. So to say, a very unsafe childhood. Teenage years involved being in a gang whom accepted his vigorous ruthlessness.

He participated and became notorious for MANY gang shootouts, fucking hoes, and eventually even whacking out the gang leader of his. So uh... yeah. Jan wasn't exactly ONLY shunned because he was the bastard child, but ALSO because he was kind of a dick, and that's not the large bulge in his pants. Naaaaah, he was a real asshole to his papa and mama, and he wasn't exactly a fine upstanding man. He was given PLENTY of chances. So uh... that colored image before? Ain't got shit, but DAYUMN, was Jan happy for ALL the mistakes he made, including that one time he got gonorrhea. TOTALLY WORTH IT. Good thing vampirism cured that shit. Hokay, so pandering over the stereotype, he actually WAS a gangster, went around and did some nasty stuff, never regretted it. Associated his moral compass with actually killing, since going by Freudian overdrive, he wasn't exactly receptive of any morality that doesn't conform with his gangs. Eventually he took it to heart a little TOO vigorously, and became bloodthirsty at a point that even overcame how much his gangs didn't like, a straight and proper crew that delved in straight territory, going clean and all that, all of a sudden involving prostitution, drugs, and even shipping some new shit from some Argentinians which involves some computer shit, and grafting them into some people. Like he was the BIGGEST drug distributor in Detroit, and it was in his early age too, quite accomplished as a gang lord as he ruled a criminal empire DESPITE how lackadaisical he appeared.

Eventually approached for having displayed blind devotion to the greens by this Nazi bunch whom offered him immortality, and the best drug in the world, which was vampirism, as he just needs to subsist on an orgasmic diet of blood. Already turned on by the prospect of violence, and so much more to offer, Jan Valentine accepted the offer to become a part of Millennium. Briefed albeit quite little aside from them being Nazi's, and even told upfront that his bro Luke joined up. LAAAAAAAAAAME.

But anyways, he was given armaments, all kinds of support, and the potential to in fact sow chaos in England, foreign territory. In fact, JUST when he was about to embark on a suicidal mission to invade the Hellsing manor with his newly created army of ghouls Jan himself compiled, the mission without further explanation was cancelled, Jan was in fact personally called into the Millennium blimp, given training (much to his chagrin, which is a pain in the ass since he had other priorities at the time), and THEN shipped off for whatever ends as he was stabilized to be more potent as a more permanent agent of Millennium. SIGH.

So yeah, Jan is the pimp MC of the Millennium MD. Fuck yeah.

Also on the plus note, during the times he was a gang leader, he actually reconciled his differences with Luke, and acted more brotherly towards him, if not insufferable. But their relationship as of that point evolved to be something of a rivalry if not something mildly heated up, but for the most part, friendly. So long as Jan's inhibitions are directed elsewhere.

RP sample: "Okay okay, HOLD UP. The FUCK is Yiffing? And what the FUCK are furries?" Jan asked in his typical alpha manner, obviously his voice like sweat honey to whatever bimbo and bitches prowled around.

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuua..." The ghoul moaned in explanation.

Jan took another swing of his blunt, his bloodshot eyes scanned the surface of his rotted underling, "THE FUCK?! AND THEY TOOK MY SUPPLY?! WHAT THE FUCK MAN?! NOT COOL. NOT COOL."

In a rather sordid display of wrath, Jan punted a perfectly furnished Ottoman table over a ledge, that which overlooks his club's dancing goers. The following table endorsed rather logical and safe measures in which it has come out unhinged. Truly, is the club the safest, truly, is it the most furnished. In testament to that, cracked glass, slippery tequila, littered slippery condoms, and other delightful assortments pilfer the area so. Showing just how clean it is. Such a table, Ottoman it may be, cracks the skull over some dumb bitch blonde and her Guido dipshit boyfriend. He wasn't good for her anyways, and the fact she dresses provocatively is OBVIOUSLY asking for it.

---Later, after several stops. One of which is in Essex, fornication, and vomiting out the lining of his stomach---

FINALLY, Jan has arrived to LONDON. The great city of opportunity, of peace and of... BORING. He needed to spice things up. Obviously the furries were actually within the FIRST building, having spirited away his prized and precious garden flamingo, or was it his marijuana? He can never tell... well, he was higher than usual, and considering this IS Jan, that's actually SAYING something. Also an obvious erection pulsed from his crotch, signifying his vigor at the prospect of murdering people.

His trusty two Belgian P90's unveiled, walking in FULL VIEW of pedestrians that dispersed in shock as he strolls into the café, calmly. Pushing the glass panel door with a gentle thud as it burst into many pieces. Jan looked around with the eyes of a killer, wrathful rage coloring his vision in sheer bloodlust as he scowled in fury at the people before him.

"FURRIES." He snorted, "IT'S THE JAN VALENTINE LOTTERY SHOW RIGHT NOW, AND YOU HAVE JUST WON THE BINGO CARD. You have THREE REWARDS as you are ALL the lucky winners! Lucky you! The first reward would be your INTESTINES dangling all the way to your throat, the second is that I'll have a hard on while strangling you with them and the third is..."

His chocolate face paled as he looked in sheer disappointment.

"Well, fuck. AH WELL. PROBLEM SOLVED." Shrugging with the victorious pride of a victor, Jan made leave of the café with grim satisfaction as he later evaded the police. It was something as simple as avoiding them. Yes, it is that specific.

The patrons within the café, were victims of an astronomical chance found within the odds of 1,000,000,000,000,000 to 1. For in the days past, the glass the owner have come to buy were quite vulnerable as they were, by chance having evaded the safety standards that the vampiric looming super strength Jan the big had, was enough to prompt such a violent hastiness that comes from the forlorn panel.

That being said, the burst has come to impale many within their faces, bursting into their skull and eye socket with the lethal velocity of something probably lethal, like a horny cougar or something.

---Some jumps, hoops, and petty robberies later, and maybe some pity wank---

Jan is back at his crib, smoking some joint, as his glossy irises spied a stack of marijuana and his garden flamingo conveniently behind the couch of his living dwelling. In relief, he rolled up another as he smoked them in duo, as he has come to stroke the flamingo's fine, pink, smooth detail intimately as if he were brushing the ass cheek of a hungry werewoman, with his experienced fingers used to pulling triggers as much as getting dirty in consensual, and non-consensual smut.

"Ah, to think I misplaced it! Honest mistake, guess there was no harm done."

Shit be DONE.

Jan Valentine wrote:

[b]Name: Jan Valentine, that shit's simple to remember.

No it's not.

Tob Johnson wrote:

Age: Uh... I lost count between 25 and potato? Shiiiiit I am too high to remember right now.

So he's 25?

Finn the Human wrote:

Gender: I got a penis, a long ass penis. That help paint an image? (Male obviously)

Not obvious for me.

Jake the Dog wrote:

Physical appearance: I am a MOTHERFUCKIN' Bona Fida well built hump machine, bitches take a number and form a queue.

Officially, Jan is about 6'2" feet tall, which is in height. His girth as he proclaims is Equestrian. The validity to the previous statement holds credence to the fact he has left numerous alleged women rather satisfied, or so he explains, considering the fat bulge he has in his pants. He has golden eyes, Hawkish in spite of the veneer sneer he often contemptuously holds. He is the shame of his brother, in many ways imaginable, but the one modicum of pride and rather sameness he holds that even relates to Luke would be the fact he is of similar build, wears similar clothing, AND has the same gloves on. Although his clothing is dark naval blue in contrast to Luke Valentine's whites.

On his skull, is worn a cap with an eye of gold. It may perhaps denote some deep occultist connections, or maybe Jan has it because it's FUCKING AWESOME. Who knows? Questionably the eye is slanted higher upwards, which may deride to the fact it's also an implication Jan is into Rastafarian culture, or he just likes being FUCKIN' HIGH as he puts it.

His hair is black, and unseen below the cap, rather messy. His face actually similar to look, but in spite of that, he has brownish skin which implies he may have Afro-Caucasian roots. His fingers meanwhile are spidery, and invasive to the touch. His face is riddled with piercing, as he has many many more piercing elsewhere best left unmentioned, hidden beneath his veil of clothing. Also wears shoes and socks, if that bit is left out.

Tends to sport two P90's on his side, having two special holsters to hold them in because they're BITCHIN'.

Also note the fact he has a shit eating smug on his face constantly, with smile lines on his face thanks to the fact he is often displaying his pleasant mood, as well as a cigar.

It does get all the appearance, but you've also got a bunch of clothing and weapons in there. We've got those split up.

Princess Bubblegum wrote:

Clothing of choice: Uh... I thought I explained this before. JAN WEARS BLUE ZIP UP COLLARED SHIRT, some bling of gold underneath, a pair of white gloves (dunno why, suppose Luke forced it on him. He can be a tight ass prick like that sometimes, he likes to get down and dirty), some classy ass black loafers, some socks. Throw in a leopard thong, piercings if they count and clothing and uh... well sometimes he wears a hoodie, black, and has a cigarello (coincidentally the same brand Integra F. Hellsing smokes that he somehow found a new craving for) on his mouth.

SOMETIMES, Jan likes a little thing called foreplay roleplay. So what he does, is wear a wide brimmed wizard's hat, and a set of wizard's robe for a sense of gratification. Still keeps his guns on him though. He has to be loaded, four times (three of which being his guns).

Not actually a collared shirt. It's a tracksuit. Need to move the stuff from appearance down into here and it should be good.

Marceline the Vampire Queen wrote:

Weaponry of choice: See these two babies just below me? These beauties are made from the P90, named after my Penis, hence 90. Ain't as long as my big boy and its two little uncles saddled undearneath, but I carry TWO of'em. So QUIT asking for the specs. JUST KNOW that it can kill the SHIT out of those human fuckers wearing body armor, kevlar and all that shit. Also I can do the Konami Code while shooting it, don't need to look at both sights to shoot, ain't that shit SWEET? Bound to give them chicks a thousand lady boners.

Spoiler:

(Specifications courtesy of Hellsing wikia)

The real-life P90, a personal defense fire-weapon (PDW) manufactured by FN Herstall in Belgium, was developed somewhere between 1986 and 1991. It features several innovations such as a top-mounted magazine and ambidextrous controls, notably taken advantage of by Jan Valentine when he wielded two of them in each hand at once. It is also notable that the ejection port for shells is located on the underside of the gun. Jan's modified version seems to have a suppressor as well, but neither the sound of the gunfire nor the amount of damage seems to be suppressed, as it sounds similar to a standard assault rifle when fired and tears through the Hellsing soldiers. However, it must be considered that Jan emptied a considerable amount of bullets into them. Also unseen in the picture is a long scope that he attached, that in spite of attaching it, doesn't seem to use, as well as a red dot sight on the other heavily modified P90.
Weight:
2.54 kg (5.6 lb) empty
2.68 kg (5.9 lb) with empty magazine
3.0 kg (6.6 lb) with fully-loaded magazine
Length:
The P90 measures 500 mm (19.7 in, or a little more than 2½ ft) total, but the exact length of Jan's modified version is unknown.
Barrel length (standard version): 263 mm (10.4 in)
Width: 55 mm (2.2 in)
Height: 210 mm (8.3 in)
Ammunition:
The P90 uses bottlenecked 5.7x28mm cartridges, weighing half as much as typical 9x19mm cartridges and allowing extra ammunition to be carried more easily. It cartridge was created by FN in response to NATO requests for a replacement for the 9x19mm Parabellum cartridge. It also exhibits a flatter trajectory. The cartridge can also pierce through Kevlar protective vests, usually at a range of 200 m (655 ft).

The P90 uses a 50-round detachable box magazine and can fire 900 rounds per minute. It has an effective range of 200 m (655 ft), and a maximum range of 1.8 km (5,905 ft).


ALSOOOO, Jan has a private and well equipped ghoul army, with modern firearms, ballistics protection, and SHIELDS that make them formidable forces under Jan's leadership (FUCK YEAH), in spite of what outward appearance that he gives out.


Also check THIS cake out. Jan liked it, so he bought it. And by bought it, he just killed that douche who owned it, Collector's item, and THEN gave him a thorough snu snu through his skull. Man... GOOD TIMES.

Oh right, the gun. It's the Ithaca Auto & Burglar, Jan keeps it on wedged on his backside, concealed there in the folds of his cheeks. Here are the specs and picture. Copy pasta.

Spoiler:

(1922-1934)
Type: Shotgun
Caliber: 20 gauge
Capacity: 2 Shells
Fire Modes: Single shot (Break Action)
Two variations of the Home & Burglar exist; the "Model A" which featured a 10" barrel set and could only chamber 2-1/2" shells, and the "Model B" which featured a 12" barrel set and could chamber 2-3/4" shells. The Model B can be distinguished by the lack of a spur on the grip.

It'd be preferable if you actually wrote out the descriptions. Also, we need an idea as to how many reloads you're carrying. Shotgun seems kind of unnecessary when you've got your two others, too.

Lumpy Space Princess wrote:

Race: Category D(ick) Vampire.

Not sure whether Jan would be F or D. I'll let the other staff give opinions before I make a decision.

Flame Princes wrote:

Abilities: Regeneration may take a long amount of time for major damage (ie: 10 posts), sublime supernatural strength, agility, stamina, durability, and reflexes, big weakness to silver and blessed weaponry but survivable, killable through conventional means, ability to turn virgins into vampires, non-virgins into somewhat weak ghouls, the need to drink blood occasionally, susceptible to unblessed damage (still fatal to them), meagre weakness to sunlight (as in they get sick around it).

Also Jan has TWO SUPER SPECIAL POWERS that makes him a VERY UNIQUE MEMBER of Millennium. The first is a VERY HIGH if not imperviousness to pain, as he is capable of withstanding pain that others would find intolerable. In fact, he does not seem fazed by such a prospect at all, and can ignore it, like a berserker, except coherent-ish, if that term can EVER be used to describe Jan. And the other? WELL, Jan can flick his fingers, give some cryptic shit about Nazi's then set himself on blue fire before smouldering away into ashes. BUT, he ain't gone that far, NAAAH, ain't like he'll need it.

ALSO, in the years that took place, under the INSISTENCE of his superiors... he HAD to train in them German army shit of the olden days instead of fucking them bitches. It was a HUGE PAIN IN THE FUCKING ASSHOLE. He could've spent that time enjoying himself, but NO, he HAD to be drilled apparently to be upgraded from "disposable agent" to someone more reliable... RIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHHT. From what Jan heard, he was ALMOST sent on a suicidal assault to the Hellsing manor at a point where the likelihood of him being killed was high, but the mission was aborted in place of some other shit that had to do with him being better equipped.

OH YEAH, has a bitchin' ability to actually invoke the Konami code, and if it's any consolation, can actually shoot BOTH P90's, aiming them REALLY ACCURATELY with VERY ADVANCED spatial awareness and clarity expected of a supernatural, capable of aiming both of them distinctively and shooting accurately all at once. But SHIIIIT, that ain't him, he likes going gangsta style and unloading the clip on them bitches.

THAT, and Jan has some LOTS of underworld contacts in London, so yeah. He knows his place around his neighborhoods.

You need to add that he can't turn humans into vampires (Millennium agents only turn Ghouls). I like that he's been trained now, though. It's a realistic achievement over the passing of time we've gotten. Personally, I think his pain resistance comes from masochism, since he clearly feels the pain, but just doesn't care or even enjoys it.

Normally, I'd ask for other abilities outside of combat and such, but I have my doubts Jan can actually do much besides kill people.

Lady Rainicorn wrote:

Organization: Millennium.

Nazis.

Billy wrote:

Personality: Hoo boy, where to begin? JAN JAN JAN. This guy, is all about style. Ain't no juvenile shit like SWAG. But he does prescribe to YOLO. As a result, he fears no evil, no good, no holiness, actually he fears NOTHING at all, and fits JUST RIGHT IN with Millennium's most fanatical Storm troopers. YERP. Jan motherfuckin' Valentine is baws like that. He is bombastic, and he ain't afraid to sound it off. But shiit, he knows how to make theatrics to the extreme, unlike his more BORING brother Luke, who thinks that EVERYTHING requires subtlety, precision and all that complicated shit.

Honestly Jan gives no two rat's ass, or vagina, about the conformity of society's views on vulgarity, obnoxiousness and OTHER polite gestures. NAH. He is chilled like that. But he AIN'T a hipster. He just doesn't follow the rules like that.

Although, despite what outward appearance he gives off, deep down inside Jan has an inferiority complex stemming from the fact that LUKE, that pale ass cracker, is considered the favorite child of his parents, performed well in his studies, risen in life, enjoyed a LOT of luxuries that he did not, that MAYBE just MAYBE a LITTLE speck, granted a TINY microscopic littlest of TINIEST atom of jealousy exists in Jan that MAYBE he should've been like Luke. But then Jan realizes, NAH. He can use his intellect towards other things, like shooting shit.

Surprisingly, Jan is well aware of political atmosphere of England, the following countries of Europe, well versed in economics (yeah, he is a gang lord of a criminal empire, what do you shits expect?) and is in fact the more practical of the two brothers. Luke say... if THEORETICALLY if he went against an ass raping machine that basically has a continuous killing streak of vampires with a PERFECT record, he'd think he can actually beat him without much regard to tactics, measuring the opponent or ANY of that. Whereas Jan? SHIIIIT, he actually comes prepared, and EVEN ASKS QUESTIONS about reliability! Yeah, ladies, he is single too... with fiftysome and a score. Take a number. He is cunning and sharp like that. Heck, Jan is even versed in pop culture too.

ANYWAYS, so yeah, Jan is cheerfully sociopathic, enjoys life to the fullest, doesn't regret ANYTHING, and would rather go out with a bang, laughing in the face of danger as he gets a hard on in violence. It's his past time like that. Likes to do drugs, Jan is a pretty cool guy. Kicks Hellsing ass and doesn't afraid of anything.

As long as you don't use the 2010+ slang in-game, you get this:

[img]https://i.servimg.com/u/f73/18/49/66/49/fabulo10.jpg[/url]

The Lich wrote:

Rank: Warrant Officer.

I suppose.

Old Mister Creampuff wrote:

Biography: So there was a time where Jan ain't that big bitch fucker he was, and BOY was he a bitch fucker back in his time, and STILL IS. Nay, for in the times past, Jan was but a simple boy struggling under the shadow of Luke Valentine, his bro. His pa and ma loved him VERY much, yeah, talk about parental favoritism, whereas Jan himself? He was the neglected little brat that was seen as the unwanted child of a shameful union, the bastard child. So yeah, Luke was mentored and given a SHITLOAD of attention, all that schtick that comes with being the fondled one, whereas Jan? He is left to rot in public school, the most GHETTO of GHETTOS, so yeah, he couldn't make the grade because SHIIIT, held for several grades till he just ditched the institution altogether, he had to focus on MORE IMPORTANT STUFF like being in a gang, and showing up his colors in London. He had to CLAMOUR for attention by being bombastic, whereas also practical, if not flamboyant in his acting. Schooling was all basic anyways, and his childhood involved a LOT of fights. He ended up in the ass kicking receiving end, a LOT. So he learnt to tolerate pain that way, mostly fights started by him, picking up dirty vulgarity from older blokes from pubs. So to say, a very unsafe childhood. Teenage years involved being in a gang whom accepted his vigorous ruthlessness.

I'd think Jan would be from America. The dub gives him an American accent, and with how easily he can be part of destroying London, it'd be kind of weird for him to actually be from England. Even Joker considers himself an AMERICAN criminal lunatic.

Prismo wrote:

He participated and became notorious for MANY gang shootouts, fucking hoes, and eventually even whacking out the gang leader of his. So uh... yeah. Jan wasn't exactly ONLY shunned because he was the bastard child, but ALSO because he was kind of a dick, and that's not the large bulge in his pants. Naaaaah, he was a real asshole to his papa and mama, and he wasn't exactly a fine upstanding man. He was given PLENTY of chances. So uh... that colored image before? Ain't got shit, but DAYUMN, was Jan happy for ALL the mistakes he made, including that one time he got gonorrhea. TOTALLY WORTH IT. Good thing vampirism cured that shit. Hokay, so pandering over the stereotype, he actually WAS a gangster, went around and did some nasty stuff, never regretted it. Associated his moral compass with actually killing, since going by Freudian overdrive, he wasn't exactly receptive of any morality that doesn't conform with his gangs. Eventually he took it to heart a little TOO vigorously, and became bloodthirsty at a point that even overcame how much his gangs didn't like, a straight and proper crew that delved in straight territory, going clean and all that, all of a sudden involving prostitution, drugs, and even shipping some new shit from some Argentinians which involves some computer shit, and grafting them into some people. Like he was the BIGGEST drug distributor in London, and it was in his early age too, quite accomplished as a gang lord as he ruled a criminal empire DESPITE how lackadaisical he appeared.

Guns are illegal for private ownership in England, so that gives more credence to the American origin. Not impossible for people to get them, but starting out in a small-time gang makes it a bit harder to buy that they could have access to a bunch of weapons like that.

Ice King wrote:

Eventually approached for having displayed blind devotion to the greens by this Nazi bunch whom offered him immortality, and the best drug in the world, which was vampirism, as he just needs to subsist on an orgasmic diet of blood. Already turned on by the prospect of violence, and so much more to offer, Jan Valentine accepted the offer to become a part of Millennium. Briefed albeit quite little aside from them being Nazi's, and even told upfront that his bro Luke joined up. LAAAAAAAAAAME.

But anyways, he was given armaments, all kinds of support, and the potential to in fact sow chaos in England. In fact, JUST when he was about to embark on a suicidal mission to invade the Hellsing manor with his newly created army of ghouls Jan himself compiled, the mission without further explanation was cancelled, Jan was in fact personally called into the Millennium blimp, given training (much to his chagrin, which is a pain in the ass since he had other priorities at the time), and THEN shipped off for whatever ends as he was stabilized to be more potent as a more permanent agent of Millennium. SIGH.

So yeah, Jan is the pimp MC of the Millennium MD. Fuck yeah.

I'd ask why they chose to take Luke, too, but that isn't really your problem. I would like them to have more interaction, though, since they seem to be on good terms in canon.

Edited this SHIT. And uh... okay, so if he is from 'MURICA, where should he be from?

Up to you. Just go with your best guess with consideration to his voice, style, and all that.

k. EDITED THIS SHIT. Threw in some minor fluff in history, changed some details in history like name from London to Detroit. Because SHIIIT, if anywhere, Jan should be from Detroit.

Got appearance down, just modified some parts of the weapon description, let me know which description you want removed. Like the whole stuff or just some excerpts?

Also, modified abilities, let me know if that tingles you right.

Shit be proper? Yay or nay?

Let me know if I missed anything out though.

I'm just saying that I'd prefer it if you wrote out the stuff about the weapons rather than copying from the wiki article.

Other than that, I'll wait to give a vote until some other people look at the category.

I'd support Jan as a Category F. His showings weren't any more impressive than the Millenium mooks in London with the exception of his insane pain tolerance (which has to do more with Jan as an individual than it does with his Category).

Problem with that is Jan also displayed higher capacity to fathom wounds than your average F-ranked vampire, in fact, to quote in the race thing...

Quote :

easily killable just as a human is

Which runs contradictory to Jan taking a guzzle load of bullets from the ENTIRE British board of defensive spending whom came to discuss the spending on a Candi. That's Candi with an i. But anyways, he survived that, his hands being chopped off by Walter, which would actually spray out huge blood without support which WOULD kill a normal human if you haven't already died from the bullet wounds and the shock that come with it, if not the ripped internal organs, the chance fact it hit the heart, among other things. You could argue Jan is highly pain tolerant, but even the most pain tolerant human Viking berserker in the Battle of Stanford bridge died by having a spear pierce his testicles by an Englishman flowing down a river on a barrel. Where he then was whacked by the rest of the English forces.

I hope that made my case and you'd consider my words.

Also, so this WOULDN'T be my post without a vulgarity...

FUCK THE POLICE.

Yogendra Singh Yadav.

You do raise a fine argument, I can respect that. However in response to the claims regarding capacity for injury, Jan's comments to Walter and general behavior following the Round Table unloading on him indicate that the wounds were quite serious. Had he not been burned by his superiors, there's a very strong chance he would have dropped from the injuries soon enough. As for the blood loss due to the removed arms, Hellsing is filled with instances of excessive blood for cinematic effect. Much like Tarantino movies, Hirano's use of blood is centered around what looks cool as opposed to how the human body actually works. Lastly, there's this example of a bottom of the food chain Millenium soldier taking bullet wounds in much the same way as Jan

https://youtu.be/Jl7mQuPFsJg?t=25m20s

I really do appreciate your argument. It's rare for somebody to respond with a well structured chain of thought as opposed to something along the lines of "FUCK YOU GJBKLGKGBJ JAN IS SO A CATEGORY D!!!" That being said, I'm not quite convinced.

The thing is that this is Integra Hellsing from the Hellsing organization. It is reasonable to assume that she has access to blessed bullets that would actually be at least on assumption on our part, blessed. It's not exactly out of the contrary either, given they are a vampire hunting organization, and have manufactured the arms for Alucard, even though we're running under the assumption Walter made them, so they're special on their own rights.

Note how the Millennium soldier, unlike how they fathom bullets, actually has his eyes burst out and suddenly gains instability. It's not something you see in a normal Millennium soldier like this one when by a barrage of bullets by the police officers...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=k2QYRbNUHMQ#t=1495

He was shot by the firearms of your normal police officer, whereas for the round table conference earlier... we can assume that they haven't expected a vampiric threat, so they haven't exactly armed themselves specially for them aside from just personal defense on their part. It is quite plausible really considering that the surprise on their faces to be attacked so blatantly by an intelligent enemy, and the vampires haven't died from very dramatic deaths where either they pop like balloons from Anderson's bayonets when he came to save Integra, or how that vampire that you showed me a video of, suddenly just paled and then gushed like a fountain with his eyes flowing out. We can assume from evidences at least on Anderson's part considering the blessed weapon, the properties in which his bayonets caused that vampire to pop like a balloon, that the same had happened with Integra whom as of that point, going by speculations, has armed herself specially to combat Millennium's forces.

Still, we must also consider Jan Valentine lost his arm, so he had profuse blood loss, coupled with the fact he took bullets more than the average human can fathom, that being one even from his head as seen from this video...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Z2N8RPZLWls#t=1779

He was already as of that point, pretty spent being damaged at arm loss, that no matter how much regeneration he has, the damage is STILL quite substantial as he has lost blood, that and he got shot to HELL, even in the skull, but still continued to live. Like all over his body he was shot, even in his legs which I'd imagine have severed some tendons. Runs contrary to him having human-like attributes of being killed as easily as one no? One headshot should've put him down going by that wording.

I hope these evidences will further convince you, and I as well am pleased to see you are receptive of my debate.

Second link didn't work but more importantly I'm not quite certain what it is you're arguing in the first half of your last post. We seem to be in agreement that the Round Table was caught off guard by the Valentine attack and were likely using regular, unblessed ammunition against Jan. However, the policemen in London unloaded unblessed ammunition into a Millenium mook in much the same way and the mook was able to withstand it without problems. It was not until Integra arrived and shot him with what we agree were most likely blessed/silver rounds. Adding another example we have the Chedder priest (one of the least impressive vampires in the series) who received a point blank shot to the head from Seras with no ill effects.

Based purely on that, I'm not convinced that Jan has showings in the manga/OVA that put him above a Millenium mook. However, I do see what you're getting at with particular wording of the race information. Based on that aspect of it (and the fact that you put in the effort to create a high quality Jan application), I'll concede this one. I can get behind the idea of Jan as a Cat D.

Thank you for your understanding, I am glad we can sort this thing out in this deliberation. You have been most patient with me and I appreciate that.

I have to disapprove. There was no swearing in that post.


Approvals: 2
Disapprovals: 0

Uh John there wasn't an approval before you so yeah

Approvals: 2

Disapprovals: 0

My bad there. I forgot to include my vote in my "I'm cool with cat D" post. Apologies all around.

APPROVALS: 03

DISAPPROVALS: 00